The Ring Is Devoured
by lemurperson
Summary: My sister came up with this idea. Someone steals the ring and read the title. Hopefully it turned out funny. Please read and review. I have finally updated so enjoy.
1. Eatings and Side Efects

This is my first fanfic so **please** review.

My sister came up with this idea. Her account is gnatbuzz21

This takes place in the fellowship of the ring when they are in Moria. This starts right after Pippin drops a stone down the well.

I hope this makes you laugh though I'm not that good at comedy.

By the way I invented Gimli's's eye color for this story

"I'm still hungry" Pippin said to himself. Pippin yawed. I'm hungry and tired how come I have to take the first watch?" Just then he saw something glitter on the floor. As Gandalf started to stirred and told Pippin he might as well go to sleep. He did not know that Pippin was hungry before yet when he went to bed his stomach was satisfied.

The next morning Frodo woke last. A few seconds after he was awake he said something that startled everyone. "Where's the Ring?" He looked at Boromir who looked at Merry. Merry was staring at Gandalf who along with Legolas, Aragorn Gimli and Sam were staring at Frodo. "I'm sorry I'm sorry! Just everyone stop looking at me." Everyone turned to stare at Pippin. "What did you do with the ring?" Gandalf's voice was low and threatening.

"I was hungry Pippin whined.

"You ate the Ring?!" Frodo yelled outraged.

"Sorry" Pippin mumbled.

"So now what are we supposed to do?" asked Gimli. "I mean without the ring how can the quest go on?"

"I suppose we will just keep going. The ring will come out eventually after much suffering to Pippin. You know I almost feel sorry for him, just look at what Frodo is doing to him." Legolas answered. Frodo immediately turned around and pretended he had not been putting stones in Pippin's pants.

"Isn't the journey over though? I mean we where supposed to get rid of the ring which we did so there is no point in continuing." Boromir put in.

"I say we vote" Aragorn stated.

In the end they decided o continue. Two people, Gimli and Boromir, wanted to go back.And five said keep going forward. They wouldn't let Pippin vote and Frodo was to busy sulking in the corner to pay attention.

The next day, they had been going for an hour when Aragorn turned around and said to Pippin "I thought so back there and now I'm sure. Your eyes are green."

"What!" Legolas exclaimed

"Err I think I can explain that." Gimli said. "When n I was younger I swallowed my father's ring. I used to have brown eyes, like most dwarfs, but look at them now. Everyone turned around and noticed Gimli's green eyes.

"So, green eyes are an effect of swallowing rings, interesting." Gandalf muttered to himself. They continued on.


	2. Fake gold

My sister came up with some of this idea. Thank you for the reviews. Anyway I hope this chapter turns out well. And once again please review. I will put more commas this time ok smelly old men...? I will try to make this longer.

The second Legolas noticed Pippin's hands were green, he turned to Gimli and asked "Gimli, why are Pippin's hands green?" As everyone stopped Gimli answered, "I don't know. Pippin, are you allergic to gold things?"

"No, why does that make a difference?"

"Well, sometimes when people are allergic to objects the part of their skin that is touching that object turns green. Wait, could the ring be fake gold? Lots of people are allergic to fake gold. If you swallowed some I would not be surprised if you turn completely green."

"It is possible that Sauron made the ring of fake gold. The spells would still work." Gandalf said. He added to himself "I never thought Sauron could be cheap. Well, everyone has their faults."

"Great" Pippin muttered. "I'm going to turn green because I was hungry." Then "Why me" he whined.

The next day no one was surprised when Pippin was green. On the other hand Frodo had decided to punish Pippin with very many angry glances (he had decided this on the day Pippin swaolled the ring). He had finally found a better punishment. He compared Pippin's green skin to ever green object he saw. A few times Aragorn glared at Frodo when he did this but no one stopped Frodo. Gandalf however growled at Pippin when he heard Pippin grumbling about how sorry he was for himself for the third time. That day passed very slowly.


	3. more green

I know I have not updated in a while, and I'm sorry, but I don't have the patient to write a long chapter right now. I also realize the timing is off and I have too many days in between the well and the Orcs attacking but, I think that is okay also, I hope no one minds if I cut out the orc scene almost completely.

Pippin was not feeling well. He had adopted a bad habit of always being hungry. It would have been okay if he had been in the Shire, but in Moria, The Fellowship's food supplies were fairly low. Then one day, Aragon heard footsteps behind them. Finally, after a few hours Gandalf heard them too, as did the rest of The Fellowship. What ever was following them was gaining on them. Eight of the nine could go faster so the thing would not catch them. The ninth however was too hungry to go fast. After the thing got closer Legolas Finally picked up Pippin, and they all ran. Finding a side passage, the fellowship went down it a little so they could rest. They walked into a door coming from the passage. Inside they found it met up with main passage in a giant room. Inside they found Balin's tomb. Gandalf found a book and read some things about orcs. The others looked worried but Pippin yawned. Suddenly, there was a banging on the door. Ten orcs came running in and the others set about killing them. Pippin hid behind a column and watched scared.

"Looky here" an orc said. He had spotted Pippin behind the column and ran to him sword raised. Pippin got a cut across his arm before Legolas shot the orc. That orc was the last one and no one was hurt badly. But, when they went to bandage Pippin, they found his blood was green too. Pippin groaned.

"Not again" he whined. He was tired of being green. Frodo and merry laughed. Even Gandalf looked amused.


	4. Stories and Names

I know I haven't updated this in a couple years and anyone who originally read this story

has given up on it. Oh well. I'm going to skip to Lothlórien.

"_Daro!"_ a voice commanded. Pippin looked up fearfully. Pippin camouflaged perfectly with the bush as he was told to hold still. He waited impatiently as Legolas spoke with the mysterious voice.

Pippin whined, "Can you hurry up? I'm getting hungry." Gimli chuckled to himself. Finally, after much conversing, it was agreed that Frodo and Sam were to join the strange people with Legolas. The remaining members of the fellowship sat down on the carpet of moss and Boromir spoke up,

"Let's have a story. Shall we?" No one responded. "Fine, I'll tell one," said Boromir. "About the legendary ummm…Bandalf."

"What's a Bandalf?" piped Merry.

"You'll figure out in due time," spoke Boromir gruffly.

"But what is it? I must admit, I've never heard of one either." said Aragorn.

"What? _You_ haven't heard of Gandalf's bird?" Borimir asked astonished. Aragorn smiled.

"Oh get on with the story!" Gimili exclaimed, annoyed.

"Well, a long time ago, when Gandalf was not so aged, he had a friend." Boromir began. "He saved the egg of a giant falcon. The falcon had been hunted by orcs. Because, the mother had been slain, he took the egg and raised the baby falcon. The falcon grew to an enormous size until he was large enough to hold a horse. Gandalf began to ride it everywhere. He got into his first fight because the orcs thought he was showing off. Together, the two killed all eight of the orcs. The orcs sent reinforcements and the falcon was killed."

"What? That's the end? What a dumb story." announced Pippin.

"Oh, Pippin. Didn't see you there young fellow." said Gimli. Pippin muttered incoherently

"Oh, I was just kidding Pippin. He didn't die there." Boromir smiled as Aragorn rolled his eyes. Boromir started once more, "Anyway, they had to flee from that fight for there were much too many orcs to defeat. They flew over Gondor to Rohan. There, they took refuge with the Erolingas." Boromir spotted Legolas climbing down the tree. "They fought many battles unitl the bird died. The end."

"Even worse," Pippin announced.

"Tell them why it was called Bandalf." Aragorn said grinning.

"Why it was Gandalf's Bird of course. So Bird plus Gandalf equals Bandalf." Legolas, who had reached the bottom, looked confused. He was about to say something but then he saw Aragorn struggling not to laugh.

"So, why is his name Legolas?" asked Aragorn.

"Well Legolas is kind of like Leg-o-loss. So he must have lost his leg but then it grew back so he said 'oh'. Hence the name Leg o loss." Gimili started laughing. By this time, he had caught on. Legolas smiled.

"Then you are called Boromir because you borrowed a mirror. You were little so you called it a meer. Borrow plus meer equals Boromir." Two men a dwarf and an elf laughed while two hobbits looked rather confused. Suddenly Merry grinned.

"My name is Merry because my mother liked to make berries. Making berries makes me "Merry." They all laughed except Pippin.

"I never knew that" he said. "and stop laughing at my friend. Your names are stranger."

A very happy Merry and grumpy Pippin climbed the tree to find an agitated Frodo. He smiled when he saw Pippin was grumpy.

"How are you frog boy?" Frodo asked. Pippin glared at him. Three elves nearby looked slightly confused at the exchange.

"Why are you green?" One of them asked.

"He's always been that way." Frodo said quickly. Pippin didn't say anything when Frodo glared at him. The three hobbits curled up and went to sleep.


	5. A new Ring bearer

Well I figured I might as well thank reviewers whose reviews I thoroughly enjoyed reading. So thanks for reviewing to blueacorn5, ellianna, My Book Just Ate my Pants

Sawyerslover, and Kapeesh1214. By the way I am really bored with the story a New Rider so if anybody actually liked it then I will update.

This story is going to kind of jump around a lot because unlike some authors, who I have amazing respect for, I don't have the patience to rewrite all three books. I might add more scenes later but for now I am skipping Lorien. I can't figure out how to alter those scenes.

**Starting Here**

Pippin tried to avoid looking into the water as much as possible. He could only stand looking at his green face for so long. Luckily, Frodo was in a different boat. Occasionally, for a brief moment, he even forgot he was green. The fellowship was silent, remembering Lorien, until late in the morning when Pippin began to think of The Shire.

"Well that rather reminded me of home." Aragorn looked strangely at Pippin as he said this.

"Your little folk land must be fair indeed if it can compare to those woods." said Boromir from behind him.

"I beg your pardon" Merry turned so he could see Boromir, "But we do not live in a 'little folk land' but a very nice land called the Shire and though it is fair it does not compare to Lorien." With this he lightly kicked Pippin who yelped and pushed Merry causing the boat to rock.

To prevent a fight from tipping the boat Aragorn hurriedly said "The two lands are not very similar but they both have trees" This seemed to satisfy both hobbits and they settled down.

Suddenly Frodo looked into the water and said "Say, what is that?" The entire fellowship looked down and saw nothing except Pippin who flinched at his reflection. Frodo laughed.

As they all looked back up Gimli whispered to Legolas "This hobbit really must be angry. His tricks are stating to get annoying.

"Pippin deserves it though."

At this Gimli laughed. "I've swallowed many rings in my time. At least none of them were that important." They both watched as Frodo and Sam stared some odd hobbit game which involved hitting each other over the head and saying 'I won'.

Merry also watched this. "Hey" he said to Pippin. "Want to play?"

Pippin scowled. "Not with you. Last time I got a concussion." Behind them, Boromir muttered something about not healing.

After the sun had set and the majority of the fellowship couldn't see anymore they stopped for the night. Although Pippin was tired because he had been sitting all day he couldn't sleep because he was hungry. "Not again" he whispered to himself. When his stomach growled really loudly Merry woke up and promptly tied Pippin to a tree to keep him away from the food.

As soon as the sun started to rise Pippin yelled "Up!" Everyone except Merry and Frodo and Pippin jumped up and grabbed a weapon.

Frodo turned angrily to Pippin "You haven't done anything this whole journey, only gotten hungry"

"You haven't done much either" Pippin replied. "You only get angry and then get stabbed. You're not even the ring bearer anymore. Technically, I am"

This rather surprised the rest of the Fellowship. "Actually," Aragorn said. "He's right. He is bearing the ring". Unsettled by this though the group got into their boats and floated away.

"So Pippin old chap." Boromir said after about an hour. "Why don't you come to Gondor? We have lots of food there…" After a few minutes of talking, Boromir realized that Pippin had fallen asleep. 'Stupid hobbit' he thought. The fellowship floated on for a few days until they reached Tol Brandir. There, someone would have to choose which way to go.


End file.
